Harry in Wonderland
by Innomen Toast Crunch
Summary: Can't you tell fom the title? Alright, I'll tell ya Harry, Hermione, Ron, Fred, George and Ginny are transported to the Alice in Wonderland land. There is NO ROMANCE in this fic. Read on!
1. Casa Della Granger

Harry In Wonderland  
By: Lady Lily  
  
I figured that the title was like an open window to what happens. If that didn't help, read the subject you get when clicking on the story. This story has NO ROMANCE! Really, it doesn't. This will be told in the 3rd person POV, sort of like J.K does. Read on!  
1Casa Della Granger1  
Harry sat on his bed, looking for something to help him with his History of Magic homework. "The Bearded was a horrible leader in the Goblin Rebellion of 1619. Explain." He sighed and closed his book, cursing himself for not starting the assignment earlier. He did still have about two weeks left, but if he had done it in the beginning of the summer, he could be sleeping right now.  
He glanced at his alarm clock and jumped a little when he saw that he had been 15 year old for an hour now. He picked up his books and put them under the highly useful loose floorboard.  
After a quick glance in the mirror to see if he looked different (he didn't), he got into bed. He had just reached up to turn out the light when his snowy white owl, Hedwig, flew in, accompanied by Percy's owl Hermes and another owl harry recognized as a school owl. They dropped the parcels on the bed and flew over to Hedwig's cage to drink some water and sleep.  
Harry reached for the parcels and the letter the school owl had brought in. He opened his school letter first and was surprised to see a shiny badge fall out. After closer inspection, he let out a groan. He'd been made prefect! Hopefully Ron was too. After scanning the note and memorizing the new password (Hickety Pickety), he opened the accompanying parcel. A box with a French label and a letter fluttered to the bed. He picked up the letter and read:  
Dear Harry,  
Olympe reckoned you'd like some French pastries more than rock cakes. Enjoy yer birthday,  
Hagrid  
Harry moved the card and pastries to the side and reached for Hermes' parcel. Inside was a gift wrapped in green and his birthday card from Ron. He opened the card and read Ron's familiar scrawl:  
Dear Harry,  
Happy Birthday! How's your summer going? Muggles treating you all right? Hope Dudley's tongue is still a ton. Did ya get Hermione's letter yet? I can't wait. You ARE coming. Don't worry 'bout the muggles.  
· Ron  
After opening Ron's gift) a set of gobstones and homemade mince pies), Harry reached for the parcel Hedwig had brought, correctly guessing it was from Hermione, anxious to see what Ron was talking about. Inside was a (what else) book from Hermione, Playing Wizard Chess - A Beginner Guide and her letter.  
Dear Harry,  
Happy 15th Birthday! I hope this gift will help you beat Ron for once. Have I got the greatest news! Mum and Dad let me invite you over for the last week of vacation. Ron, Fred, George and Ginny are coming, too. Send your reply with Hedwig quickly. Hope to see you soon.  
· Hermione  
"Stay with Hermione," Harry thought, "perfect!"  
The next morning, after breakfast, Harry cautiously approached Uncle Vernon.  
"Er, Uncle Vernon, my friend Hermione from school invited me over for the rest of the summer. Can I go?"  
"How will they pick you up? Not by any strange ways, right?"  
Harry, surprised at how quickly Uncle Vernon said yes, thought about his answer.  
"Er, well, her parents aren't wiz- er, my type," he quickly fixed his response, "so they will most likely dire."  
"Not your type, eh? Well, what type are they?"  
"Her mum and dad are both doctors."  
"They better be on time. Not like the red-haired lot."  
"Yes, sir." Harry bolted upstairs and sent his response immediately.  
Hermione's reply came right after dinner. It amazed Harry how such a short note could hold so much good luck.   
Harry-  
Yes, my mum and I will pick you up at 4:00 p.m. on August 25. Ron, Fred, George and Ginny will come the next day. See you then!  
-Hermione  
In Harry's opinion, the 25th couldn't have come any slower. When the day finally arrived, he was already packed. He spent most of the day in his room; he really didn't want to enter the tension-filled downstairs. At ten to four Harry dragged his belongings downstairs to wait.  
Uncle Vernon was wearing his best suit. The same one he wore last year when Aunt Petunia kept peeking out the window every minute. Dudley was nowhere in sight, though Harry highly suspected he was hiding up in his room, remembering his last encounter with wizards other than Harry all too well.  
Though, Harry thought, he does have good reasons. His first encounter, with Hagrid, left him with a curly, pink piggy tail. The second one was with the Weasley twins, and they left him with a 4-foot-long, purple, slimy tongue!  
At exactly 4:00, a silver BMW pulled into the driveway of number 4 Privet Drive. Uncle Vernon straightened his suit and moved toward the door. At the top of the stairs, Dudley poked his fat head out to see. Uncle Vernon opened the door cautiously. On the other side stood Hermione and who Harry guessed to be Mrs. Granger. Mrs. Granger was only a couple of inches taller than Hermione, who had grown herself. Mrs. Granger had Hermione's hair except her's was curly. She had a nice tan, Harry suspected that they had vacationed this summer, and a lovely smile.  
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Dursley7. Hello Harry, dear."  
"Hi Mrs. Granger. Hi Hermione."  
"Hi Harry! Do you need any help with your trunks?"  
"Sure, I just need… oh, I left Hedwig upstairs, Hermione, come get her with me?"  
"Oh, don't worry, Harry, I'll get her myself."  
Hermione went upstairs and into Harry's room. Dudley had already run back to his room. Mrs. Granger was trying to start a conversation with Mr. and Mrs. Dursley.  
"So, what business are you in, Mr. Dursley?"  
"Drills."  
"How nice. My husband and I are dentists."  
"That's what the boy told us."  
It wasn't a surprise to see Harry and Mrs. Granger happy when Hermione arrived downstairs with Hedwig.  
"Well, by then," called Harry, while lugging his trunk out the door to Hermione's car.  
"Bye," Uncle Vernon grunted. Harry was taken aback for a moment before realizing that Uncle Vernon must be remembering the lesson on manners Mr. Weasley gave him last year for not saying good bye to his "nephew he wouldn't see for a year."  
The car ride was fun. Harry and Hermione sat in the back, with Hedwig asleep on the passenger's seat. Her cage was covered with a velvety black cloth Hermione had bewitched to look like the enchanted ceiling in the Great Hall. She had also made one for Pigwidgeon's cage, though his was thicker, as to block out his incessant hooting.  
Harry and Hermione wee having a cheerful conversation about Rita Skeeter. Hermione had decided not to let her out. And, apparently, when the Daily Prophet found out that she was missing, it was much like the Bertha Jorkins case. Though this time, it wasn't because of incompetent bosses. They just didn't WANT to find her. Harry and Hermione were just thinking (aloud) about if they should let her out, when would it be, and how they would deal with her temper when they arrived at Hermione's house.  
Harry got out of the car and pulled his trunk out of the trunk. He turned around just in time to hear Mrs. Ranger say, "Welcome to Casa Della Granger."  
Maybe "house" wasn't the right word. Hermione lived in a large, white, Victorian mansion, partially covered in vines with some stained glass windows in the front. There was also a wrap-around porch.   
She led Harry up to the guestroom. As he followed her up the long, winding staircase, he felt that this would be an interesting weekend. Harry didn't know how right he was.  
END OF CH. 1  
  
  
Well, how was it? I hope my fans (do I have fans?) don't believe What's Wrong With Weird? is a lost cause. It's not, I swear. I just got a writer's block on that one, so I started 2 more. In case you were wondering, I got the idea from the last METMA challenge.   
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me gasp. I'm just borrowing their pretty little brains.  
Next chapter = The Weasley's arrive, they see the book and they all get transported.  
  
Review please  



	2. When Good Spells Go Bad

Hola. I know that this chapter is pretty short and for that I am sorry. I promise that I will make the next one at least a little bit longer than this. Now, In, this chapter, the gang gets their first look at Wonderland. Oh, and just a thought that's been on my mind for awhile. James: brown eyes, unruly black hair. Lily: green eyes, red hair. Harry: Lil's green eyes, James's unruly black hair. Ginny: (james) brown eyes, (lily) red hair. Interesting, no?  
  
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Harry Potter gasp! Or Alice in Wonderland. They are owned by the unbeatable J.K. Rowling and Sir Lewis Carrol, respectivly.. Though, in this, I have total control over their brains. evil laugh I only own the muggle plaing cards, Hermione's kitchen and food, the muggle television and the library.  
  
2When Good Spells Go Bad2  
  
Ron, Fred, George and Ginny arrived the next day at one p.m. Hermione had two guest rooms and Ginny was bunking with her. Ron and Harry were in the room with two beds and thet left Fred and George with the single-bedded room. When they arrived, Harry and Hermione led them upstairs to get unpacked. Harry and Ron hung out in their room, playing Exploding Snap. They gave up after Ron's eyebrows were singed for the fourth time. Then, Harry found a pack of muggle playing cards and was teaching Ron to play Spit, to no avail.  
  
"I thought you said not to double up!"  
"Ron, listen to me. You can only double up on the five piles in front of you. NOT on the two in the middle," Harry explained for what seemed like the twenieth time. Just then, Hermione and Ginny came in.  
"What are you two doing?" asked Hermione, her voice slightly filled with humor.  
"I'm trying to teach Ron how to play spit. Trying being the operative word."  
"Oh!" Hermione squeled, her eyes alight with excitement," Can I play? Then, Ron and Ginny can watch us and sort of get the idea."  
"Sure, why not. It would be nice to actually play. Ron and Ginny, sit here," he patted the spots next to hima nd Hermione," and watch us play."  
"Okay, ready Harry?"  
"Absolutely."  
**********  
An hour later, Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny emerged from the room, cheering Harry for such a close win. When they got downstairs, they saw Fred and Georde poking at the normal items in the kitchen, such as the fridge and the microwave, as if expecting them to bite back or attack at any minute. Harry and Hermione decided to make some lunch and they had started out with the four weaslys in the kitchen watching them, but had to kick them out after five minutes. They were poking the food in the fridge when Harry opened it (after the intial shock for they thought that it was going to swallow Harry whole) and getting underfoot. After some sandwhiches for lunch, Harry and Hermione decided to wow the Weaslys with some television. They particulary enjoyed they music videos, so at the moment, they were watching a video by an American group called No Doubt. The, out of the blue, Ron asked Hermione,  
"Hey, Hermione, you're a muggle-born!"  
"Very good, Sherlock. What gave it away, the muggle playing cards, muggle kitchen or muggle television?"  
Everyone began laughing hysterically (Fred and George were rolling on the floor) as Ron's ears got thet familiar pink tinge.   
"Well, er, I meant, you probably have muggle books. You know, ones without moving pictures? Can I see one?"  
"Oh, of course you can see one. Follow me."  
Hermione led them up a winding staircase to a library.  
"I'll show you my favorite book. My mum used to read it to me at night when I was ittle."  
"Are you gonna tell us the book, or describe and make us guess?"  
"Hmph, it's Alice and Wonderland."  
They had stopped and were standing outside a large glass door. Hermione opened the door and ushered them inside. This library was so huge (an- how huge was it? sorry, I had to do that) that it's size even challenged that of the Hogwart's library. There was shelves and shelves of books of all sizes and colors.  
Hermione immediatly disappeared behind one of the many large shelves. Harry and the Weaslys, having no idea where to look, decided to sit at the lovely cherry wood table in the middle of the room that they had just barely glimpsed through an area in a shelf where there was no books.  
After about ten minutes, Hermione appeared next to Ginny, her hair gray from dust and tangled and her eyes and nose red (most likely from sneezing), but never the less smiling victoriously and clutching a very old book in her hands.  
On the graying cover of this book were the barely visable words of the title and the author's name, Lewis Carrol.  
"So, Ron, why did you want to a muggle book anyway?"  
"Oh, well, I wanted to try this new spell I found."  
"Really?" began Hermione, clearly very interested, as she always is when it comes to new magic," what does it do?"  
"Oh. It's supposed to move pictures that were originally motionless."  
"Oh! Sounds very interesting, give it a try. Here."  
Hermione opened the book to somewhere close to the end. She pointed to a picture of a young girl in a blue dress with a white petticoat. Her blond hair reached to just below her shoulders and was tied up with a blue bow matching her dress. She was standing next to a tree with three white roses in it that were being painted red by three card. Cards!?!?!? Harry leaned foward for a closer look, as did everyone else (save Hermione). They were cards, except they were the same height as the girl, who Harry suspected to be Alice, had arms, legs and heads. Harry was begining to wish that he had had a chance to read this book, for it looked very interesting.  
  
"Well?" said Hermione, making an impatient sound, "Are you going to do the spell or not?"  
"Er, sure." Everybody leaned foward so that the six of them were forming a circle around the book, nearly shoulder-to-shoulder.  
Ron raised his wand and said, "FACCIOVAI!"  
  
Harry felt the all to familiar tugging at his belly button and felt like he was swirling. After landing with a thump, he got up and saw with a sigh of relief that the other five were with him, getting up.  
  
"What happend and where are we?" asked Fred and George in unison, voicing everybody's thoughts. They looked around, and Harry's thoughts were met with a very familiar scene.  
  
"Oh my," breathed Ginny, "We're in Wonderland!"  
  
End Chapter 2  
  
Dun dun dunnnnnn! I am placing the 3 reviews = a new chapter rule on this story, too, for, you see, I only got 7 reviews for this story and that is pitiful. So, review, please!  
  
The reviewers for the last chapter:  
Padfoot Lover  
Miba  
Ceridwen  
Sarah O'Reilly  
Aurora Borealis (who has revied both of my stories)  
Greencat  
clara 2000  
  
Thanks to all who reviewed. Now, I ask you to please read my poem, Don't Change. It's quick, it really is, and I have no reviews for it at all, so I was crying. Please review that, please (pardon my excessive begging, sorry).  
  
~~Lady Lily~~  



	3. And the Suprises keep coming...

Le sigh. Hey.. I'm back? Yes.. Here I am, and with a new chapter. I do not know what's come over me.. it's scary.. So.. where were we? Oh, right...   
  
  
`-`-`-`-`-`-`-  
"Oh my," breathed Ginny, "We're in Wonderland!"  
`-`-`-`-`-`-`-  
  
**And the surprises keep coming...**  
  
Of course, Ginny was right. Miles and miles of the fictional land streched before their eyes, and Fred and George turned with menacing looks and pounced upon their baby brother. Shouts of "You idiot!", "Damn spell" and the laughs of the remaining three were soon drowned out by obnoxiously loud singing. Harry looked to Hermione, who's eyes widened in obvious recognition of the song.  
  
"Err, Herm? What's that," he questioned with some curiousity.  
  
"It's the cards! We're almost at the end of the book! I think.. well.. it would make sense that we'd have to just finish the book out, right? That's how it always works in the books..." she trailed off uncertainly, glancing from harry to ginny and finally stopping on the 3 brothers in a curious position.  
  
"Well, that seems like the most plausible way to get out, seeing as how the _dimwit_ who got us in here wouldn't know how to get us out," here she paused to glare at her brother with a look that would make even the strongest man cower, "so I say we go with it. If all fails, we'll just.. erm.. well, all won't fail!" Ginny finished positively. "Now, off we go!"  
  
And, following Hermione, they group made they're way towards the singing. Reaching the tree they saw in the pages of the book before, they only had a moment to be surprised at the moving, talking, painting cards before the singing started up again.  
  
"Painting the roses red, yes painting the roses red!" They sang. The girl in the blue dress, Alice, Harry vaguely remembered, was now where in sight, however. He was about to comment on this when a new, more feminine voice started from behind him."  
  
"Oh Pardon me please, but mister three, why must you paint them red?" Harry turned quickly and in the spot ginny previously occupied stood none other then what seemed to be Alice, blonde hair and all, hands clamped over her mouth in surprise, blue eyes wide. But there was something off, and Harry leaned foward, and noticed in a flash what it was. This Alice had freckles, just like Ginny.  
  
Harry, of course, was not the only person to notice this. "Ginny?!" cried three male voices simultaneously.  
  
"Surround sound," Alice/ginny replied sarcasticly. Now, would someone please explain to me how I got into this uncomfortable get up, and... what happened to me hair!" She shrieked, clutching on to her now blonde tresses.  
  
"Well gee, this can't be good," hermione muttered, eyes wide in surprise.  
  
  
_well, I know it's short, but It's here, the miraculous chapter 3. Aren't you glad you waited around for this piece of crap?  
-Lily_


End file.
